Why you are trying too hard with women…
Why you are trying too hard with women…
I have a good friend who teaches people how to get rich in real estate. He’s very successful, both in real estate, and in teaching, and rightfully claims to have produced more millionaire students than anyone else in real estate. I’ve met a lot of his students—and I believe him.
Now, do you think he teaches his students to “work hard?” No, not at all. In fact, his favorite saying (which he repeats ad infinitum, some would say ad nauseum) is “the less I do, the more I make.”
There’s a lot of wisdom in that because it makes his students focus on creating systems that filter out the bad deals and only bring them the good ones. That way his students sit back and let the deals come to them. When they go to finalize a deal, it happens effortlessly—there is no “trying” at all.
The exact same thing works with women whether they approach you, or you approach them. “The less you do, the more they are attracted,” is a very apt saying. Think about it: the guy who goes out to “lay down a rap,” to “work the numbers game” almost always goes home with an empty wallet—and nothing more. He’s trying too hard. He’s pushing. He comes across as desperate—and women can smell desperation a mile away.
Now consider this: you’re talking to an attractive woman, and all you do is ask her questions about herself. She talks, you listen. You’re interested in her, but only a little bit. She picks on the interest, but also on the degree of it. She starts asking herself, “why is this guy only slightly interested in me, when all the other guys slobber all over me?” And that creates a challenge, framing you as a mysterious, intriguing guy—the type women go crazy over.
What did you do to create this attraction? Not too dang much at all. In fact, you actively refrained from doing the normal “oh yeah, I’m interested in you” stuff. All you did was ask a few questions, and listen to what she had to say. You made a few comments to let her know there’s more to you… but didn’t tell her what that more was. She has to WORK to find out what that more is, and women go crazy for a man who makes them work.
So next time you’re talking to a woman, remember, “the less you say and do, the more she’s attracted.” She’ll do all the work for you if you just let her.
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What attractive men know about women that unattractive men don’t
A while back I was at an event talking with a group of guys who know what I do for a living. Invariably they all want to see me use a “magic line” that somehow gets women to be attracted to me, and they always want to see a “demo.”
Usually I politely decline, but occasionally an opportunity will present itself that lends itself to the true demonstration of attraction.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy walk up to an attractive woman (also attending that conference) and make a dumbass comment about the way she was dressed. What was dumb about it was not the comment itself, it was the way he said it, and his body language.
So after he walked away (and she was happy to see him go) I walked up and said exactly the same thing–with a naughty grin on my face, and a mischievous look in my eye. All I can say is, her response to me was different from the choad she just ran off.
Why? Because I acknowledge the sexual dynamic that’s always present between men and women, no matter the situation. He didn’t- he tried to pretend it wasn’t there, and that he wasn’t attracted to her, which she knew was BS.
She classified him as a liar from the get-go, whereas she knows I’m acknowledging the truth of the interaction, that I’m a man, she’s a woman, and there’s a spark there. Does that mean that I act on it? No, not at all. But because I acknowledge it, it makes her comfortable with me.
That’s one of the underground secrets men who are attractive to women know that men who are unattractive or downright creepy don’t. Unattractive guys pretend there’s no sexual tension–attractive guys acknowledge and embrace it, but also transmit to her they’re in control of their actions.
Powerful stuff, fellas–put it to work and enjoy the results!
On with the fun….
PS Discover amazing attraction secrets that allow you to control all your outcomes with women:
The last word on “chemistry”—for now
If you read through any number of women’s online profiles, you’ll see a constant running through them: a desire to feel “chemistry” with a man.
Here are a few of my observations and experiences with “chemistry.” First off, “chemistry” is a word that holds deep meaning for women, but not much meaning for men.
Chemistry is not to be confused with “love” although many people, unfortunately, do so. It’s a transient high that occurs when two people first meet each other, and it’s something that lasts for months, not years—it tends to wear off with time and familiarity.
Chemistry is triggered in women by what I call, “naughty boy” behavior in men… unpredictable, fun, unexpected things, a “naughty boy smile,” then switching between sincerity and back again to “naughtiness” just when she thinks she has you figured out.
When women experience “intense chemistry” with a guy, they tend to think about him all the time—scarcity can increase the intensity all the more, because when you part ways, you leave her wanting more, with her not wanting you to leave.
Under the glare of intense chemistry (where “longing” is a component) women tend to rationalize or “re-frame” obvious bad behavior by the guy—he borrows money from her constantly because he’s a lazy bum, she views him as simply “down on his luck, someone who’ll get it together soon.” When the chemistry disappears, and she sees the bum for what he is, oftentimes you’ll hear these exact words, “I just don’t know what I saw in him.”
Chemistry is not something that “happens,” it can be created by careful practice and application of what I teach in Secrets of Natural Attraction When you switch the question in your head from, “Gee, I wonder if she likes me?” to “How can I create and enhance ‘chemistry’ in her?” you’re well on your way to massive success with women.
Obviously there’s more to know about chemistry—but if you keep the above in mind when interacting with any woman, more often than not you’ll do something few people are ever able to do in OR out of school… get an “A” in chemistry.
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On with the fun…